read this before clicking on the link
this is art, but art referencing vaginas is probably not suitable for work. So this is going behind a cut. I recommend checking it out when you are somewhere safe aka not at work. It’s pretty amazing.
my to-do list so far for the week, in no particular order as it goes ‘the sooner the better’ for everything listed. this is an entry for the self, just in case i lose the actual hardcopy list(which just might happen in the flurry of the coming & the going).
~find/copy/send test scores
~copy/send transcripts(hs and college)
~commence operation seitan secretbigtimestuff
~burn sam cooke cds
~send out chapbooks, you lazy forgetful bum!
~schedule dentist appointment. do not pass go on this one.
~schedule doctor’s appointment. again, you cannot pass go on this one. seriously. stop being too busy for your health.
~call pops.
~finish bio or die tryin’.
I’m allllmost done with my application process for school. It’s funny how quickly one’s anxiety can turn into a great bit ball of anticipation and excitement. Truly, the main source of the anxiety is doubting my own ability to do my best, which is a silly-silly doubt if you just stop and think about it. “Stop and think” sounds like such an easy reflex but sometimes the mind has a way of bypassing this step, taking me right to worst fear city. I am an academic spirit at heart and I know that once the application process is complete and I meet with an advisor/get my classes in order, I’ll be one very happy lady. I know that sometimes paperwork & process can get overwhelming and even discouraging but I am focused on trudging through the forms and fill-outs to get where I want to be. The only way is through.
Yesterday I rode over to the library for a poetry reading. Both of the women reading were also professors. I really attached myself to Barbara’s poems about her family. Her poems had a way of leading me along very nicely by the brain and then WHAM–something in the middle would sink an arrow into the thickest meat of my heart. I loved that she invited Sharon(the other poet reading) to help her read a poem–they had a back/forth that reminded me of the piece that Renee and I wrote together(oh my dear lady we should write more!) and I couldn’t help but grin while watching them overlap the ends of their sentiments perfectly. Sharon had an affection for rhythm and sound and I loved that she had no qualms about telling the audience this before she began her set. She played the guitar for one poem and all my internal light bulbs started tinkering to life. I’m so happy that I attended. Next month(October 19th), Jan Beatty and Tess Barry will be reading.
After the reading, I went out to watch the Steelers game with James and Laura. We spent at least an hour trying to convince James to dress up as Sigourney Weaver (Ghostbusters era, to be exact) for Halloween, but he wouldn’t budge. I will not give up hope! I kept yelling at the television screen(oh cathartic, frustrating football). J and L had to split early to attend a prior engagement, so I walked to Katie’s new place of residence and continued my yelling at the television in her room. She picked this brilliant blue/teal kaPOW paint for the walls. I was a little worried about the fumes triggering my migraines but the windows were open and everything was fine. I like the smell, but I don’t like what the smell will do to my noggin. We watched the McCain and Obama interviews on 60 minutes and I helped her slap the blue on the last bare walls. There’s something incredibly romantic and relaxing about rolling color on a large scale. During the walk home I told myself to paint more. I have a bit at home but need to stock up on that, and some canvas.
I ended up sitting on the porch last night for a while in the dark, listening to music and watching the towers blink red in the distance. I felt that deepbelly shiver of a true sort of happy. The entire day seemed to lead up to that feeling.
During my lunch today I ended up in the elevator named Betsy(named by a staff worker who physically has to make sure the doors close all the way before continuing onto the next floor). I get a kick out of the older women and their impatient sighs when Betsy decides to stop on ANOTHER floor before theirs. Oh ladies, it’s an elevator in a very large building—you should try on some patience. It’s quite becoming. But it takes all kinds I guess. I just smile to myself and appreciate the fact that I can enjoy the journey. I used to get frustrated with the unnecessary frustration/impatience of others, but really, that’s their reaction to deal with not mine. And doesn’t getting frustrated at them put me on the same playing field? Unnecessary energy towards something outside of my control? It’s a simple thing but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.
Renee hooked me up with information on a poetry discussion panel, taking place the second Thursday of every month. They kick things off in October with Emily Dickinson. I’m going to go to the November 13th discussion, which is e. e. cummings. Three poems will be discussed and I cannot wait to go to this. If you know me then you know how I feel about cummings. I’m beyond excited when I think about going somewhere to talk about my most favorite poet and his work. So glad it’s a reality and not just a dreamy concept in my head. Oh, and the event is free and open to the public(they encourage registration but it isn’t necessary). If you’re interested in attending, let me know.
In this state of disarmed watching
Radio towers wink and the stars so sag
With the weight of the wishing;
How the wings in the chest grow another set and
Flight for flying, soared and sorting.
every day builds a page
and that’s how.
Two important anniversaries coming up next month.October 2nd marks my 7th year living in Pittsburgh. Seven years! The kneejerk comment to that is, of course: I can’t believe it. I can’t believe I moved here at the age of twenty. Oh, that means it’s been seven years since I owned a car. Sweet. I wonder if I’ll ever own a vehicle again. To be honest, I don’t think I want to.
I have a lot to say about being here seven years. I’m glad that I kept a livejournal for years and years, because I have a neat little pdf file of memories. Things I would have otherwise forgotten about. Wow. Seven years. All of my twenties in the 412. It’s kind of amazing. I’ll write more about this later. Like I said, I have a lot to say on the subject.
The other anniversary falls on October 10th. My last dose of Paxil.
this picture snapped right before taking my last dose
Again, I have so much to say about this. Not now, though. Soon. I’m thinking of something to do, some way to acknowledge the anniversary. Gotta find a way to celebrate survival.
Family of Spanish poet Lorca slain in Civil War won’t oppose opening of mass grave
By CIARAN GILES | Associated Press Writer
8:45 AM EDT, September 19, 2008
MADRID, Spain (AP) _ Federico Garcia Lorca’s family won’t oppose a petition to open a mass grave where his body is believed to have been dumped after Franco supporters allegedly executed the poet and playwright at the outbreak of Spain’s Civil War, a relative said Thursday.
A judge will decide whether to exhume the remains, but the announcement by the family of Spain’s most prominent and popular 20th century poet is a significant about-face after years of refusing to touch the grave.
It also takes Spain a bit closer to unraveling one of the 1936-39 war’s most intriguing mysteries — how the writer died and where exactly his remains are.
Garcia Lorca was 38 when he was killed. His work deals with universal themes such as love, death, passion, cruelty and injustice.
“We will accept whatever decision is taken without objection,” said Laura Garcia Lorca, the poet’s niece. But she insisted the family would prefer if the grave was left untouched.
A gorge in southern Spain believed to hold the poet’s and many other bodies “should be protected for the cemetery that it is, a testimony to the terrible crimes committed under Franco and the repression,” she told The Associated Press.
“To open just one of the graves there and distinguish some of the dead above the others demeans the virtue of the place as a historic legacy.”
Relatives of two other men believed to be buried in the same grave as the poet asked National Court judge Baltasar Garzon last week to order the grave opened — a move responding to the Lorca family’s steadfast refusal to let the grave be dug up.
It also formed part of a surging nationwide movement to give proper burial to the thousands of people known to have been killed by supporters of late dictator Gen. Francisco Franco and buried in mass graves.
“We understand the desire of a family to recover the remains of their relatives and give them proper burials,” said the niece. “For our family it is preferable that he (Lorca) stay there. He is in good company.”
Investigations indicate the poet, who was open about his homosexuality, was shot along with a school teacher named Dioscoro Galindo Gonzalez and two labor union activists — Francisco Galadi and Juan Arcolla — on Aug. 18, 1936, near the Viznar mountain gorge in Garcia Lorca’s native province of Granada.
The four bodies are believed to lie in a site close to an olive tree that has since been designated a memorial park. Others claim the burial spot is 400 yards away.
Several thousand others are believed to have been shot and dumped at the gorge.
The Franco rebellion triggered a civil war against the left-wing, democratically elected Republican government, and was followed by a 36-year dictatorship.
There is no official record of how many people died at the hands of Franco’s forces. British historian Paul Preston, an expert on the conflict, says 55,000 were killed by the Republican forces and were fully accounted for afterward.
Garzon recently asked church leaders, city mayors and other authorities for help in building a reliable list.
In many ways, the Lorca case symbolizes Spain’s attempts to deal with its painful past, with many, especially conservative groups, opposed to what they call opening up old wounds.
Last year, Spain’s Socialist government passed a watershed bill formally denouncing the Franco regime for the first time and made symbolic amends to victims of the war and the ensuing dictatorship.
The final decision regarding the grave rests with Garzon and this may take several months.
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