quite like done
Tuesday, April 8th, 2008
So, “quite like yes” is complete. Converted to pdf, cover color picked, and sent. Now I wait.
I have 11 chapbooks, selfpublished, already under the belt. Yes, 11. I just counted them on my fingers. The last seven were part of a box set series, which only a few people have so far. I have big plans to resell these at the book release. I recycled record sleeves and slid each collection inside, secured with a string. All books were printed on office equipment, on the clock, which I find downright hilarious. But so many of us do it this way, because that’s what it comes to. Getting it done as Clark Kent–the superman will always sneak back in. Indeed.
I’m feeling a different sense of pride with “quite like yes.” Mainly because this go-round, I’m getting the sucker bound instead of hole-punching and hand-tying baker’s string for each copy. Of course that DIY process will always stand closest to my heart, but there does come a time for something different. I wish I had more time to handcraft every single one, but factor this into editing into printing into blah de blah blah and the time consumption just doesn’t balance out. I’ve already spent enough time trying to get the words right, the order right, the layout, the title, and on and on.
I have whooped, hollered, and shed tears over this book more than any other before it. That’s the truth. I found a way to appease myself by maknig it a combination of poetry and prose, since I have one foot stuck squarely in both. I had to figure out how I wanted to deliver certain pieces to the page, to the reader–especially ones concerning the Paxil hellride experience. It would be a lie to leave those things out. I found what works for me. That had to be first. I’m always finding a way to put something else in front of that–always and with everything–this time I had to be a little selfish. I do hope that people enjoy it. I hope I can get a copy to Liz and that she can read it to some sweetheart on a picnic, as she did with a former chapbook of mine. I hope the copies pass through hands and find little homes on bookshelves.
Here’s to the deadlines I ignored, and to the nights I went to bed with a hole in my chest lost in thoughts of how will I do this? How will it make it to light? Here’s also to the moments of thrusting fists to the air when I re-read “PSSG” and knew I could not leave it out. Here’s to everyone who encouraged me to keep going and to get it down, get it done, edit-edit-edit. Here’s to knowing there will be more to come.
I can’t believe it’s finished. Completion, sweet completion. Go me.
