honeydunce

I had another horrible migraine last night. I managed to keep myself out of the emergencyroom by fighting tooth and nail against my urge to go. I woke up with less pain this morning–less as in I can talk, walk, and open my eyes(which I could not do very well last night), butI feel like […]

“Do I dare disturb the universe?”
The line from T.S. Eliot that always pops into my head upon emerging from a bad few days of wrestling with the ebb and flow of a migraine. I’m starting to feel a bit better and the last thing I want to do is disturb that universe and knock myself […]

If you’re tired of me talking about migraines/chronic pain, you can save yourself some trouble and stop reading now.
Emerging from another warped cocoon–I’ve been fighting the same migraine for days now. Yesterday I had to call in sick and sleep my way out of it. A sleep complete with nightmares that left me […]

So I heard a poem tonight with an all too familiar ring to it. The kind of thing that could have spilled from my own mouth. Not exactly, but pretty damn close. Immediately after the poet read her last piece for the evening, I jumped up and went to her, squishing past […]

Another day. The head pain continues. Ugh this is just getting ridiculous.

I am finally sitting upright, recovering from another migraine, this one pretty bad. I’m tired and weak and I don’t really want to talk about it. I have a poetry gig tonight and most of me doesn’t want to do it…I just don’t feel up to it, honestly. The rest of me says I […]

some of today’s migraine, defined:
The vertebrae jacket goes to coat check. A woman accepts it with wrists stunted by talons, iridescent nails like blue orb like moon, cataracts. Her clavicle boasted speakeasy for insect eggs. High pitched tines, as if on plate, stunt the crowd noise. Two palms to your ears. Ladies and […]

the left side.
cerebral coasts,
the ocean flirts
with the toes of my
hands gathering
temples into pinched
little tundras against
the crab grass drift
of lashes.
the mouth
no longer mouth,
now trouble.
the drunk without drink,
liquid sand belly sift.
i cannot possibly
find the beautiful thing
i want so badly,
little claws gnawing
the bark of skin
picked off in slats,
surfboards for the dolls
moss crowning
the pillow cement
(a rock forms,
a crescent)
in the […]

Funny, how pain will find whatever you are tethered to and snip the threads, allowing you to float between this and this–being present becomes something different.
I have a hard time understanding my pain tolerance. I know that my perception is very distorted due to years of migraines. It’s strange–how private and intimate the […]

Squint against the light, the sound of your own voice hurting you more. The left arm goes numb and it’s frightening. You apologize over and over to whoever is with you–I’m sorry that I’m like this. I’m sorry that I’m putting you through it. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. The pain […]