honeydunce

I’m moving in 19 days, and counting. There’s a lot to do, but most of it is time sensitive(as in it’s a little too early, time-wise, to start certain balls rolling). Right now my priority is sifting, throwing away, donating, and packing. The other priority: flipping through the Ikea catalog. Combing the thrift store for odds and ends. The catalog is sparking some new storage ideas(my biggest storage challenge: the papers, the files, the writing). Thrift store ventures, so far, have resulted in the purchasing of some very useful and downright hilarious additions to my new abode. Case in point: a miniature(as in perfect for the corner of a countertop) grocery cart, which will be used to hold my fruits and veggies. Other interesting finds from the thrifting: objects/appliances/utensils straight from my childhood. The solid memory kind. Like brightly colored cups, the exact kind I clutched onto in my youth during the summer. Or the picture identical to the one hanging above my grandmother’s kitchen table–a picture I remember looking at often. A typical image, and with religious tones which is totally not my style, but that doesn’t really matter. What matters is that every time I see that image, I think of my grandmother. That’s pretty important to me right now.

Perhaps this is of no interest to you but hey, the whole “gearing-to-move” thing is my current state of being and focus right now so thereyago.

I just returned from a quick trip home to Ohio to visit the family. My heart is still pretty soft about it today, which is usually the case upon my return. I miss them so much. I’ve been living in Pittsburgh for nearly 8 years now and I still miss them a lot. I lack any blood family here, nobody that knows me before that 8 year mark and sometimes it really confuses/bothers me. I have a life here, I’ve built a history, and it is not an option to turn around and leave it all to return to my hometown. But, for the first time since moving here, I really started thinking about “the future,” in regards to where I want to really “settle.” And oh do I hate that word. Maybe that’s why I’ve never really thought about it. Is this city it for me? Will I grow old here? I really don’t know. And if not here, where? And when? Sometimes I get caught up thinking about how much I’m “missing” back home. Especially now, with a two year old niece. Especially now, noting how gray my father’s hair is when I come to visit. Especially now, when I realize how much I miss being near my sister–when we’re texting how much we miss each other back and forth before I’m even out of the Ohio state limits. Oh jeez I’m getting teary-eyed even typing this. I’ll stop with the listing. I wish I could be there more often, but there’s the full time job/school/the life/the day to day stuff/not having a car.

Why is all of this coming to a head now? I’m not sure. Maybe this is a thing that’s been building, but I also know that I turned 28 and bam–I really, really started to stare at things differently. It also seems that the sound dropped out and left behind this obnoxiously loud tick-tock noise and I’m nervous about it. Who knew that 28 would be the age that turned everything on its head? Not me, says I.

My weapon of choice? Be proactive about it. Take care of what needs taken care of, make the changes you need to make. Be the person you appreciate most(which is, gosh knows, something I’ve struggled with since I was a wee kid). It’s all in the works and I’m sanding down the edges, making all the rooms useful.