It is my heart talking again; she snuck up in head and is tossing aside memories out of her way til she finds what she wants. Doesn’t know what she wants. Has fun looking through it all and leaving a mess, door kept wide open behind the pulsing silhouette. Back down to the cavern, quiet.

The best dream, the biggest want, is a life without a pain. A no longer for the always has been in my time. I just want to go somewhere without an escape plan, without pills in my bag. I want to be out for the whole time and not have to leave halfway through. I don’t want to miss out. This life sometimes does not seem about me anymore, but instead about how much I will hurt today compared to yesterday, and what pain waits for me tomorrow. I feel worn out just trying to keep up.

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