Thursday, February 13, 2014


I will call it luck because I don't know what else to call it. "Just one of those things?" A close call? Definitely a close call. On Thursday, Jon and I were on our way to Ohio when a semi truck merged into us and then drove away. My first wreck behind the wheel, my biggest fear, a strange moment all rolled into one. The kind that go so fast yet slow down Matrix-like in their existing. The guy pushed right into us as he drove. I gripped the wheel tight and held on, forcing it over to avoid a head on collision with the concrete jersey barrier. My car was stopped in the lane and as the truck drove away I braced myself for potentially getting rear-ended, but luckily we didn't. We caught up to him long enough to give 911 the license and truck numbers and then pulled onto an exit to survey the damage.

Body damage all along the right side and a demolished/non-existent side view mirror. The truck pushed hard enough into my car to take the gas door clean off of the tank. Hubcaps are scuffed but no windows were broken. The semi had a skirt over its back wheels which saved us even more damage(and potential injury). They caught the driver due to a series of perfect-timing circumstances(like a chopper above, like the trooper managing to coast in neutral right in front of the guy at the next exit despite his transmission blowing out moments before).

Now it's a matter of getting the estimate on car repairs. They should pay for everything.

In other is still winter. Snow still falls and collects. We all walk with tentative steps on the uneven ice and mounds of dirty snow hugging each street corner. This season has been harsh, and it gets into you quick. For a while I daydreamed of summertime but my daydreams have weakened, turned fuzzy. With the trees so bare every day it's hard to see the leaves. I cling to the moments I can sweat, or when I'm standing beneath the hot rush of water in the shower. This current head cold makes me grind my teeth even more than usual. I will not say my spirit is broken, but I will say she has been bent in all directions. She is soft in the middle from repetitive allowances. I leave it to time but time keeps on bringing the hits, the sub-freezing temps, a blue in my knuckles. We're all going through to get through.

Admittedly I'm still a bit shaken up by the road's close call. We were not hurt and the car is driveable(thank goodness for these things). It's been a week and I still feel eerie about it. I'm still taking stock, as one does in these close call moments. Even with this gnarly cold(the one in my head & the one all around), I'm enjoying the feeling of my lungs expanding. Of thought and mobility. Of simply being alright. Sometimes, many times, that is enough.