Monday, November 11, 2013

morning full of light

I keep thinking about Saturday morning, the way the sunlight fell in congruent shards across my knuckles as I typed up words to a new poem. Coffee, sun, coffee shop noise, a brief but noted moment of my kind of perfection. I felt reckless. With the manuscript sent to Dianne and off my plate, I feel like I have full wing span for my arms. I can stretch out; possibilities have lost their dead ends. It feels brilliant to have something complete, and it feels even extra stunning to already be working on what's next. Whatever that may be.

It's not that I forget why I love to write, or why I make it a priority in my life above most other things. I could never forget, not really. But oh how I needed that beautiful little moment for myself.

A thick segment of my weekend went to learning Arabic. I thought I might peek at some basics and be done with it but I couldn't pull myself away. The library provides access to this incredible program, Mango. I'm surprised that I'm remembering as much as I am to be honest. Languages are always so intimidating from the outside, such uncrackable eggs. But then you dive in and find yourself swimming hips deep in yolk.

I love that there is a way to respond when you say good morning as there is a way to say thank you(again and again) as opposed to just thank you. I love how strange my mouth feels around the syllables, just as I love how they grow familiar and soon I am singing them to my cat.

I leave for Egypt in 39 days. Yes, I've been counting. I've been counting for nearly a month now. I'm so very excited to experience life elsewhere, though I will admit I'm nervous about traveling such a distance on my own. I'm a person who is chronically early because I can't stand being late to something, or being lost. When I first started taking the city bus 12 years ago, I would draw ridiculously detailed maps on scrap paper so that I could recognize landmarks before/during/after my scheduled stop. Nope, not a fan of being lost. I'd like to think I've loosened up over time, but leaving the country is completely new to me(aside from Canada but c'mon that's Canada).

However, excitement overrules the nerves when all is said and done. It's important to do everything I can to promote comfort for myself--such as learning the language, keeping on the news, squaring away all that I can here at home before leaving. I've accepted the fact that the time change is most likely going to screw with me. But I'd rather face a little ache and tiredness for what lies ahead of me. For adventure, for love, for the future...it's worth it. When I think of it, I think of that bit of sunlight falling over the back of my hand. The warmth. The possibility, indeed.

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