Friday, October 25, 2013

For years upon years I've had a lump in my left breast. I can't remember the moment of noticing it. The first doctor I mentioned it to listened to my description and nodded, immediately diagnosing it as fibrocystic breast disease(it's quite common and means the breasts are succeptible to cysts/lumpy tissue). I didn't think much of it. A few years passed and another doctor checked it out and advised I get a second opinion. This lump would become more prominent every month with my cycle--to the point where it hurt to go downstairs. It's an area sore to the touch at times. It stays in the same place. It can get aggravated with caffeine-intake. Signs point to cyst. As I said, lots of women have them and they are usually harmless.

About a month ago during a self-examination(yes I do them and yes you should too) I noticed a new lump. This one showed up on its own, out of sync with my cycle so it made me raise an eyebrow. It also feels a little different. More...solid? Bead-like? I don't know how to describe it.

In short, I went to the doctor last night and now I have to get a breast ultrasound at the hospital since the lump is new. The doctor can't determine if the new lump is a similar cyst or something potentially problematic. It's newness is a concern.

I left the doctor feeling pretty bummed. I was hoping that I could get out of there without having to subject myself to more poking/prodding/tests. I don't want to go to the hospital. I don't want to wait on more results. I don't want cysts in my breasts.

I talked to my dad on the phone this morning and told him, which I felt a little hesitant about. My grandmother, his mother, had cancer. I remember seeing her double masectomy scars as a child. I hate worrying him about anything, especially health-related. Plus I don't want to reveal the worry in my own voice.

The ultrasound is Tuesday at the hospital, during lunch. All will be fine. I'm hoping for the best.

Also, I've heard a lot of talk about Mercury being in retrograde, and how that has a tendency to fuck things up. I think I can work with it though. The past few months have been surprising, slightly wild. A planet going backwards while I'm falling in love and finishing a book? Sure why not. Moonwalk on, Mercury. I got you.

1 comment:

  1. I found a lump at the beginning of the month and it took 3 weeks and a biopsy to confirm it was benign. They should always do at least an ultrasound or a mammogram to check out anything, rather than assuming. And they can remove cysts and fibroids, especially if they're painful; my Mom has had a couple cysts drained and a couple cut out.

    It is harder to breathe while you navigate through the different appointments, but it is nice to know what it is after, one way or the other. The ultrasound is kind of a relief after you know that a) there isn't an improbable stray baby in there and b) that it isn't a guinea worm or other parasite hanging out, and that whatever it is small enough that you can take it in a bar fight - except for guinea worms, you need Jimmy Carter to fight those and I don't think he goes to bars.

    Interplanetary frolicking always puts things into perspective.