Tuesday, June 25, 2013

This might be the best moment. The moment before departure, when the top layer of action is all about getting things done and running around like an idiot to cross things off the to-do list. A frantic churning of instruction and preparing. However under that madness is this amazing mixture of calm and electric...half radio, half bath water. This layer of knowing what is ahead no matter what--it's just a matter of getting there. Like the night before you are due to spend an entire day riding coasters and being free. The prefix of pure excitement. I'm all about it.

I leave for Rochester on Thursday. My only nerves orbit the logistics--making sure I don't get lost on my way, putting up my tent in the dark. The cat is being watched. Bags are being packed. I feel almost sick with thrill to leave my routine for ten entire days. It's the appropriate time to step away, I believe. I'm tired. I'm quite obviously going through the motions with some things. Likewise there are some wonderful new things that require some distance to fully appreciate, I think. The best thing, for all of it, is space. Space, adventure, and new experiences.

After the retreat I'm going straight to Ohio to spend a week with the family, and to see my dear lovely Jon who will be in town visiting his own relatives before heading off to his new post in Cairo, Egypt. I have missed him so very much. Then 4th of July with the kids, and then...

And then indeed. I don't know what is next, really. I'm perfectly fine with not knowing. I'm not in a rush to get there, to the unknown. I want to enjoy every inch of this build up--this moment before the moment. When you can feel change building its arrival, like a wave slowly/surely gathering its breath for the big curve and push to shore. All of it deserves attention, care, and enjoyment.

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